More thoughts on meditation. Btw, it does not have to be a dedicated meditation session, but that certainly helps if there are goals associated with meditation that you desire. What goal? More calm, contentment, and being less distant, and more in touch with your reality, your existence, although I would not describe myself as agitated or not content.
I’ve stated several times in this thread, that part of the problems I had with meditation was an expectations problem as if meditation would give me more insight into my existence. I can’t say it does that. No doors are opened, no gray screens pulled back, but it can do wonders for your perception, the here and now. It’s like sitting in a room you’ve sat in for years and suddenly seeing it as if for the first time.
Through meditation, it’s as if reality/awareness becomes front and center, while inner thoughts recede and you are primarily observing. There can be moments where you are suddenly very aware and have gained a different perspective, or something that is no longer taken for granted.
Mentioned previously, I had not meditated, but sitting in my car recently, I became very aware of my sense of touch, feeling the texture of the steering wheel. Then I touched other parts of the interior of the car. I‘d describe it as a realization moment, experiencing your environment in a jogged manner, here and now, as if something that had been turned off, like my sense of touch, (or taken for granted) turned back on and suddenly I was focused on it.
Regarding inner monologue, I think this is related and asked about before for curiosity, not alarm, how many people are there who can type a sentence and not hear the words verbalized internally even if it is very subtle? You see the word and as you recognize it, and you don’t in essence hear it at some level?
It‘s hard to say at what point that started happening with me. I assume most people do it. Most times it’s simple planning, putting thoughts into words, but voiced in my head. However it can infrequently become an alter ego, like a third party talking to me such as
“ok what now” or
“let me think about it”, but it’s me addressing myself. They are no conversations like a third party has appeared in my head.
Anyway, after meditating this morning, I’ve decide that one goal would be to quiet my inner voice, which I am able to accomplish for a period of time after meditating. Even though that goal goes down the drain like when I’m typing a message at the moment.
Every word is verbalized. That’s not anything to be bothered by, I don’t think.
Through meditation, I can observe without running my inner monologue, staying more focused on the here and now and stop thinking though my plans for the day or other things on my mind. Not to imply that thinking through plans is bad, they are certainly necessary, but I can be so wrapped up in a multitude of
things that I become distant from the here and now. And who is to say that those plans are not still not being thought abou, but in a more subtle manner? ?
