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2chance1

macrumors newbie
Original poster
Dec 5, 2022
4
10
Hello friends,


I, like many others, it seems have been curious to wander out of the garden. However, my wife is DEAD SET on iMessage and I can't get her to budge. I've been able to swap almost everything else, or I'm planning to, whether it was hardware or software. Thoughts on how I could complete this change? Standalone apple watch? What do you guys think?
 

antiprotest

macrumors 601
Apr 19, 2010
4,044
14,261
Do you mean that she is forcing you to use iMessage, or are you forcing her to leave Apple?
 
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2chance1

macrumors newbie
Original poster
Dec 5, 2022
4
10
Do you mean that she is forcing you to use iMessage, or are you forcing her to leave Apple?
My bad, I suck at clarifying.

Long story short is she basically is forcing me to use iMessage. I was bought into the Kool Aid when I got with her and that spread to her, unfortunately. Not sure how I can even begin that conversation without an argument. (Is that even healthy? That's for another day. Lol)
 

antiprotest

macrumors 601
Apr 19, 2010
4,044
14,261
Yeah somebody is ending up unhappy here, or at the least inconvenienced.

I have no solution to this.

I mean, if you want to use, say, an Android phone instead, and have to get another Apple device just to use iMessage, would it be worth it?

So...stay with Apple, or divorce? o_O
 

2chance1

macrumors newbie
Original poster
Dec 5, 2022
4
10

2chance1

apple works under your terms
make your iPhone, iPad tv etc. work as you want
make the iMessage and other  platform work as you want
this is the beauty of apple
and they take extra steps in security and ease.

that is what I discovered recently
I totally understand where you're coming from, but it's just the little things that have built up and made me annoyed - like why can't I have autofilling passwords in a different browser, with a different password app? Oh, because Apple doesn't want that, for example.
 

2chance1

macrumors newbie
Original poster
Dec 5, 2022
4
10
Yeah somebody is ending up unhappy here, or at the least inconvenienced.

I have no solution to this.

I mean, if you want to use, say, an Android phone instead, and have to get another Apple device just to use iMessage, would it be worth it?

So...stay with Apple, or divorce? o_O
Luckily I can use the work phone argument (would replace my iPad mini), which she didn't mind...but she didn't want me doing a Galaxy Fold which is what I'd want to do. Big F in chat, friends.
 
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MBAir2010

macrumors 603
May 30, 2018
6,433
5,920
there
I totally understand where you're coming from, but it's just the little things that have built up and made me annoyed - like why can't I have autofilling passwords in a different browser, with a different password app? Oh, because Apple doesn't want that, for example.
I grew upset from 2017 to this summer with apple when I realized that I who was annoyed
also tuning out other negative things about apple helped.

there is a reputable website that now only published negative things about apple this year
I stopped following since 2001 and feel better

seems to me Bezos is buying the websites and trashing apple

recently all my new  products worked straight out of the box
the iPhone, TV watch all set them selves up in a minute or 2
the HomePod mini need 5 minutes, bit that is more complicated.

we live in a tech world we dreamed about in the 90's and happy im stuck in this

until the next solar flare.......
 

Ac1d 8urn

macrumors 6502
Nov 10, 2020
320
752
Wisconsin
Hello friends,


I, like many others, it seems have been curious to wander out of the garden. However, my wife is DEAD SET on iMessage and I can't get her to budge. I've been able to swap almost everything else, or I'm planning to, whether it was hardware or software. Thoughts on how I could complete this change? Standalone apple watch? What do you guys think?

Look into setting up Bluebubbles if you have a Mac. I'm using iMessage on my Z flip with Bluebubbles.
 

Love-hate 🍏 relationship

macrumors 68030
Sep 19, 2021
2,998
3,129
Hello friends,


I, like many others, it seems have been curious to wander out of the garden. However, my wife is DEAD SET on iMessage and I can't get her to budge. I've been able to swap almost everything else, or I'm planning to, whether it was hardware or software. Thoughts on how I could complete this change? Standalone apple watch? What do you guys think?
Genuine question, what’s so specific to iMessage ?
If you use an android phone ( and the app on windows as well) , you can still text her , send emoji , quote her message ( don’t quote me on that one) , send pics, videos , notes , files (idk about vocals )

What’s so special about iMessage that you can do with her ? I’m not sure I get it
 

Shirasaki

macrumors P6
May 16, 2015
15,686
10,988
I totally understand where you're coming from, but it's just the little things that have built up and made me annoyed - like why can't I have autofilling passwords in a different browser, with a different password app? Oh, because Apple doesn't want that, for example.
Everyone has their own gripes about Apple and some aspects of their products and/or services. It’s inevitable. But to me, rather than considering switch and looking for greener posture, adapt and tolerate a bit to it. I mean, if you switch to android and end up breaking up your relationship (which, I have to say, is not The type I want to jump into), I’m not sure your new gf would be ok for you to use android either.
 

jaytv111

macrumors 6502a
Oct 25, 2007
979
776
It’s all good. Switch to what you want. At worst, you will just text message (SMS) with her. But you could agree to use whatever texting app is most convenient, Whatsapp or Messenger or Telegram, whatever.

One on one isn’t so bad with SMS but people hate group texting understandably, that’s more of why blue bubbles vs green bubbles is a thing, the network effect of everyone having iMessage ends up shutting out a green bubble from a group’s conversation. And it’s hard to get a whole group to agree to one messenger app too if you get away from iMessage and SMS/MMS entirely.

Outside of the US though iMessage isn’t a big thing because the number of iPhone users is much lower, so the network effect is much weaker. iPhone vs Android is about 50-50 in the US and about 20-80 in most other countries.
 
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escargot3

macrumors regular
Oct 22, 2013
115
148
why can't I have autofilling passwords in a different browser, with a different password app? Oh, because Apple doesn't want that, for example.
Not sure about your other concerns, but at least re: passwords, now you can have 3rd party password autofilling providers in 3rd party browsers. Ie you can use 1password to autofill passwords in Chrome, you can even use Chrome password autofill in Safari if you want to.
 
Last edited:

fwmireault

Contributor
Jul 4, 2019
2,158
9,167
Montréal, Canada
Hello friends,


I, like many others, it seems have been curious to wander out of the garden. However, my wife is DEAD SET on iMessage and I can't get her to budge. I've been able to swap almost everything else, or I'm planning to, whether it was hardware or software. Thoughts on how I could complete this change? Standalone apple watch? What do you guys think?
Glad to see I’m not the only one having arguments in my relationship over our respective platform ecosystems. My partner is dead set on PC/Android, and I will not look outside of the Apple garden for the foreseeable future. We don’t force each other to use iMessage or any other messaging app, but I have a HomeKit home with homepods everywhere, so we sometimes argue about that.

To your problem, there are unfortunately not a lot of options. You cannot have a standalone apple watch, it has to be linked to an iPhone. That said, with family setup, you can probably connect an Apple Watch to your wife’s iPhone, with a separate account. But this feature is designed for kids, I don’t know the limitations for an adult. But if you need only to use iMessages, it could be a good option for occasional messages. If you text each others multiple times a day, using the watch will not be a great experience. Also, take into consideration that you’ll need a LTE plan for the watch, and that the battery will not last long on that

An other option would be to buy an older iPhone (a small one, say iPhone 4S for example) and put a cheap data plan on it.

Unfortunately, Apple is not great at letting Apple devices communicate with Android, so I don’t see a lot of alternatives. The easiest way for you would be to switch to an other messaging app, but I understand that this is not an option
 
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slooksterPSV

macrumors 68040
Apr 17, 2004
3,543
305
Nowheresville
I vote iMessage. Something about getting my texts on phone, tablet, watch, and Mac just helps alleviate trying to keep my phone in my hands all the time when waiting for someone to respond. Odd, yes, but I understand the wanting to Switch. My SO has an Android and he can't get my pictures half the time, the gifs sometimes don't work, so when I want to send a video or large image, we use Discord.

I'm slowly trying to convert him to iPhone.
 
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velocityg4

macrumors 604
Dec 19, 2004
7,329
4,717
Georgia
I totally understand where you're coming from, but it's just the little things that have built up and made me annoyed - like why can't I have autofilling passwords in a different browser, with a different password app? Oh, because Apple doesn't want that, for example.
I use Bitwarden as my default to Autofill Passwords in Brave and DuckDuckGo browsers on my iPhone and iPad. Password prompt detection and autofill has also been way more reliable using that combo than anything I’ve tried on my Pixel phones.
 

sephstrife

macrumors newbie
Oct 22, 2008
2
3
I totally understand where you're coming from, but it's just the little things that have built up and made me annoyed - like why can't I have autofilling passwords in a different browser, with a different password app? Oh, because Apple doesn't want that, for example.
I'm all for escaping the walled garden if that's what you want, but I'm a little confused about this. Password autofill on iOS is generally pretty reliable no matter what software you're using. I've had DuckDuckGo, Brave, and Firefox as default browsers and I've used Dashlane, LastPass, and most recently Strongbox for passwords. Strongbox occasionally crashes due to autofill memory limitations, but I use it in Firefox to fill and generate passwords and for the most part it works. I've actually had far more issues with autofill on Android devices—the number of times the KeePassDX button failed to show up in password fields has made me want to chuck my tablet out the window.

Also, try getting your wife on Signal. Cross-platform and privacy focused, and you've got a lot of the iMessage type stuff (reactions, GIFs, stickers, etc). Or worst case, just make the switch and text her. Your technology is your choice.
 
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Roadstar

macrumors 68000
Sep 24, 2006
1,718
2,186
Vantaa, Finland
Oh wow, this makes me appreciate that iMessage isn't really a thing over here. I can switch back and forth between the platforms and my wife doesn't see a difference as the commonly used messaging apps are cross-platform. We actually used iMessage with my wife back in the day, but gave it up for reliability issues. I'm rather confident that it's better now, but back then it almost got us into a fight. She arrived home mad at me "Why TF aren't you answering me, I texted you multiple times!". I was standing there confused, insisting that I haven't received any, but she's calling BS on that saying that it's been more than an hour already. At that point, my phone starts pinging with the default iMessage tune (you can tell this was a while ago, i.e. before the watch era, as I actually had notification sounds on). "Oh, I see. These ones. Well, you just saw why I couldn't answer them any earlier". Needless to say, we switched to another communication app after that.

It's unfortunate that Apple keeps pulling these lock-in stunts when they could be competing based on quality and user experience instead. I'm currently rather annoyed with Apple not providing any Find My/Family solution for Android so that I could see my daughter's location and approve her app/extra time requests without having to carry an iPhone with me for that. For after all, Google offers the parents' version of Family Link to iOS as well, but if you've got an iPhone to your child, you need an iPhone yourself to use any kind of parental controls. But if you get your child an Android device, you're still free to pick either platform for yourself thanks to Google serving also the other camp.

Luckily for me, my daughter has been asking for an Android phone as her next device. Or more precisely something that has the pattern unlock option she's seen her friends and teacher using. My son also had an iPhone first, but then wanted an Android like all his friends did. With the way iPhone prices have gone lately at this side of the pond, I'm rather happy (and relieved) with their preference.
 

Roadstar

macrumors 68000
Sep 24, 2006
1,718
2,186
Vantaa, Finland
In the uk, even those on iPhone predominantly use WhatsApp. Think I’ve only received a text message of any type from someone once this year.

WhatsApp is the de facto choice in Finland as well, unless you need really large groups or proper multi-phone support where Telegram is more convenient. No one on their right mind would start a group chat in iMessage unless they're very certain that everyone in the group has an iPhone (not at all likely, unless we're talking about a work-based group where everyone's on the company-issued iPhones).
 

Shirasaki

macrumors P6
May 16, 2015
15,686
10,988
It's unfortunate that Apple keeps pulling these lock-in stunts when they could be competing based on quality and user experience instead.
They have to insist on some lock-in stunts like this or they will lose way more customers than they ever want to admit. The moment they embrace open standard, so many fringe iPhone users gonna jump ship to Android because iMessage is no longer locked for iOS only.
 
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