TBH most of the history of plus/max has for the most part been worth it. The extra screen space and functions always made the difference. Now the base pro has 6.1 screen which is bigger than 90% of the plus/max lines in the past and there are no functional or performance differences either. The size will leave permanent creases and even make wear marks on men's regular fit jeans. The weight will stretch out many lightweight jackets and there have been numerous reports of people's pinkies or ring fingers have developed bone deformities from supporting the weight for a few years.
Yet again I am out of the norm.
• I wear Dickies cargo pants and shorts. I have yet to have crease marks.
• I have no lightweight jackets that have pockets I would use for my phone. I do have a lighter Dickies jacket with an inside pocket. Hasn't stretched out yet. But usually my phone is in my jeans pocket, not my jacket pocket.
• I have no bone deformities in my pinkies caused by my phone, despite using large phones since 2014.
You seem to be describing the type of person who wears lightweight, free-flowing clothing and holds their phone - a lot. Perhaps that's you, I don't know. But again, nothing that you describe has happened to me.
I'm quite comfortable and happy with the size of the plus/max phones.
Incidentally, my wife carries around an 11 Pro Max and a Pixel 3a XL. Hasn't stretched out her pockets or jacket pocket, nor caused pinky bone deformities. And she holds her phone way more than I do.