The original point I made was that titles and pronouns are not the same thing. Perhaps your wording was clumsy, and you meant that you can't choose to use a title you haven't earned or aren't entitled to... which then leads to the question: if nouns and pronouns are the same concept, why do people have to choose from a specific set of nouns but they're free to make use of any invented pronoun set they like? It's a distinction between the two. They aren't the same idea.
Please note, I refer to them as invented because Wikipedia
literally lists their inventors (some of whom are anonymous, but still cited) which cannot be said for he/she and more traditional pronouns.
In terms of writing titles but not pronouns being "just today's convention", it's also the convention going back hundreds and hundreds of years. It isn't like that started last week... we know that Ms was already used in the
17th Century for exactly that reason, that it was written down.
The
issue I've described a few times now is the idea of being judged before the mistake... it isn't the same thing as respecting someones wishes, since they are unknown. In the absence of information, what should be assumed? Is
they really a word to default to - because in the singular it applies only to people, while the subject could be an artificial intelligence or a fax machine? There's also the consideration that it is, essentially, demanding respect. Respect for others is a personal choice (one I would hope others made, and one I try to teach the importance of in my work, but a personal choice nonetheless and not something which can or should be imposed).
Here's an
example of an explanatory footnote to discuss nonbinary pronouns:
“In this paper, I use the nonbinary gender pronouns [name them] because the people I am citing and/or to whom I am referring use these pronouns to refer to themselves. It is important to me that I respect their identities in my writing by using the appropriate gender pronouns.”
I'm behind that. I get it, I agree with it. What I'm trying to share is that I think some in this thread are missing it and
making a spectrum of views ironically binary (in that you agree or you're wrong). To further the example, I'm going to shift the above footnote on its head, by changing the pronouns...
“You will use the nonbinary gender pronouns [name them] because the people to whom you are referring use these pronouns to refer to themselves. It is important to you that you respect their identities by using the appropriate gender pronouns.”
and here (underlined) lies the issue. People cannot be told what is important to themselves.