I just got my first Mac this year, a Mini with an i5 in it. So far, 4k has been an absolute nightmare. I constantly have a problem with it not even starting up the monitor initially. I have found that if I manually set it to sleep mode after I think it's had enough time to be booted, then wait a few seconds it will usually turn the monitor on for me.
But aside from that, the UI lags all the time. I couldn't even use Krita, as the screen lags significantly behind my brush strokes. The mouse was stuttery, causing misclicks and other issues. I was going crazy, even to the point of doing a full wipe and reinstall of Mojave.
Finally out of desperation I started prepping it to sell and recoup some costs. In so doing I hooked it back up to my old 1080p monitor, and low and behold it is smooth as butter now. No lag, no mouse stutter, no krita lag. It's like a new machine.
So from what I can tell, this thing just isn't powerful enough to run 4k without an eGPU.
For reference I have: Mac Mini 2018, Mojave, 16GB RAM, 512GB SSD, Core i5 CPU.