Completely quitting social media gets lonely.

[maflynn]

We old folks don't care what strangers think of us.

I wished I learned that lesson years ago, I guess with age, you gain some perspective.

 

[arkitect]

Social media is part and parcel of marketing my artwork.

As a commercial artist it is pretty much impossible to survive these days without Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and that other thing… LinkdIn.

Instagram showcases the art I create… YouTube shows a few videos of things in progress… FaceBook is an amalgam of the two, but they all serve one purpose only, to drive traffic to my own website and generate sales.
I'm not there to make buddies and gossip.

It is no different to advertising in a magazine if I have an exhibition of work. I have products and this helps sell them. 🙂

Unfortunately you need a personal FB account to hang your business account off of. Which is crap.

On the personal side of FaceBook I am in contact with a few people I have met during travels and while living in quite a few countries.
Some family members… A grand total of, at last count, 43 "friends".

Twitter/X/Threads I never grew to like and as a means of showing art they are pretty useless. Usually just a bunch of people trying to out "smart" one another with their clever (if only) zinger one liners…

Social Media, it is what it is. I can see some people are genuinely, well and truly addicted.

OTOH, I also see some people wear their disdain for Social Media as some kind of badge or medal of honour. Well done you! /s

There are worse things to be all het up and high horsed about.

*shrug*

I'll admit though to probably spending FAR more time on MacRumours than any social media app.

 

[Huntn]

There is a chance that the more time one spends socializing online, the less time for one to get to know oneself. Most people aren't going to let you know the worst about themselves, nor is one going to tell others the worst about oneself. What one usually "gets to know" about another person is one's (own) perceptions, the likes and dislikes one learns from childhood. I could be wrong, but human interaction face to face is the most efficient way to get to know oneself and some things about others. "Feeling" that we know somebody...is it really true?

I would argue that though online discussions if you are honest, you certainly do understand your own feelings on a topic better.

Part of what you're saying I think, is that you know peoples stated positions, but really don’t know online personalities, so lacking the personal interaction, you really don’t know if you’d really like them in person or not.

I feel like I kind of know the people online that I interact with regularly, but I don’t really know them. Unless they're outright deceivers, I can say I know how they feel about something, I can easily feel we have similiar or compatible views on a topic, and I see some evidence of their personality but I don’t really know how likeable they would be or what I would think of them or vice a versa until we met in person. There can be a connection there, but it’s not nearly as good as say just talking over the phone. 🤔

 

[Huntn]

High school reunion? Think I’d jump off a bridge. Hated school. I had plenty of friends there, but as you say that’s the past. I left my home town at 18. Never moved back. Used to occasionally visit my family, but none of them live there now.
I have two really good friends who I knew in my teens (outside of school). We still meet up a few times a year even though we live 100’s of miles apart. We talk on the phone or the odd text messages or email. But I don’t need social media for that.

I had several friends that I stayed in touch with for about 10 years after high school. I had zero desire to attend my high school reunion and I did not. Keep in mind that due to the circumstances of my life I left home and never returned there to live on any permanent basis.

Two decades later, while visiting my family there (Maryland), I ran into a girl I had casually known in high school thinking she was the most attractive girl I had ever laid eyes on, and I was shocked to the core when I ran into her and did not even recognizer her, until she recognized me. It was a jarring experience Like being in a time machine. As I did not see you gradually change, it was as if I’d have preferred to remember you as the young, vibrant, attractive teen that you were. Of course I did not say any of that, just a friendly good to see you again. 😒

 

[laptech]

Social media can be many things to many people, it can mean different things to different people. It is not a 'one piece fit's all' thing. If used right it can enrich people's social lives. No longer are family or friends restricted to the same country, they are capable of being all over the world and social media allows family and friends to keep the social connections together either by the written word, the spoken word or face to face over the wonders of video.

Where social media went wrong is the intrusion into users privacy. Social media companies want to take your personal information and personal data so they can sell it (see terms and conditions of sign up contracts). This has meant others have intruded into the social lives and private lives of many without the approval to do so. People want to be able to share their lives with others online but they are afraid to do so because of concerns that what they post will be used /stolen not only by the social media companies but also from those outside looking in. Words, pictures, music, art, stories all taken/stolen and when a person goes to complain they are usually ignored or hit by a wall of silence.

A number of my family use social media, mainly Facebook but I refuse to do so because I refuse to allow Facebook to do what it wishes with my personal information or stuff that would be posted on my FB page if I created one. Over time social media companies has shown they cannot be trusted with the information submitted daily/monthly/yearly into their platform. This has lead to serious trust issues with many many people who over time have closed their social media accounts. If someone does not treat you right in real life, you no longer want any thing to do with them or to be associated with them. It is no different in the online world with regards to social media. Accounts get closed for trivial things, untruths are allowed to prosper, lies are allowed to prosper, misinformation is allowed to prosper, hate is allowed to prosper and when social media companies are approached to deal with it all, communities are met with excuse after excuse as to why nothing is done.

There will always be the evil side to social media, the negative side to social media but unfortunately that is the side that prospers because that is what a huge majority of people want because of their own lives being boring, they see joy and laughter with regards to the pain and misfortune of others. What are the common words we hear to this? 'I am here because it's fun' or 'I am here because I like drama (arguments/fights) and because of this, over time people start to get fed up of it all and leave social media.

Social media could have been more massive than it already is if it wasn't for greed, the need to find ways to make as much money as possible at the expense of the users.

 

[Apple fanboy]

I had several friends that I stayed in touch with for about 10 years after high school. I had zero desire to attend my high school reunion and I did not. Keep in mind that due to the circumstances of my life I left home and never returned there to live on any permanent basis.

Two decades later, while visiting my family there (Maryland), I ran into a girl I had casually known in high school thinking she was the most attractive girl I had ever laid eyes on, and I was shocked to the core when I ran into her and did not even recognizer her, until she recognized me. It was a jarring experience Like being in a time machine. As I did not see you gradually change, it was as if I’d have preferred to remember you as the young, vibrant, attractive teen that you were. Of course I did not say any of that, just a friendly good to see you again. 😒

I married the most attractive girl I ever met!
I know exactly what you mean about the aging process. I recall being in a pub on a visit back to my home town and there was a girl behind the bar. She was the kid sister to an old friend of mine. In my head she was around 10. But she must have been 18 to work there.

 

[AlaskaMoose]

I would argue that though online discussions if you are honest, you certainly do understand your own feelings on a topic better.

Part of what you're saying I think, is that you know peoples stated positions, but really don’t know online personalities, so lacking the personal interaction, you really don’t know if you’d really like them in person or not.

I feel like I kind of know the people online that I interact with regularly, but I don’t really know them. Unless they're outright deceivers, I can say I know how they feel about something, I can easily feel we have similiar or compatible views on a topic, and I see some evidence of their personality but I don’t really know how likeable they would be or what I would think of them or vice a versa until we met in person. There can be a connection there, but it’s not nearly as good as say just talking over the phone. 🤔

It is possible that one could learn some things about oneself through online discussions, but only if you receive the right feedback from the right persons. When discussing any issue online, what one does the most is to talk about oneself, while at the same time raising a shield of protection (one does not like to be hurt by others). It is different at a classroom setting, or even opening up to the right person (psychologist and so on), in which case (the latter), one is led to talk about oneself by the other person, the one who is doing the analysis. But in reality self analyzation is most productive at a private setting. A great number of people get to know more about themselves when separating themselves from social settings.

 

[avz]

Two decades later, while visiting my family there (Maryland), I ran into a girl I had casually known in high school thinking she was the most attractive girl I had ever laid eyes on, and I was shocked to the core when I ran into her and did not even recognizer her, until she recognized me. It was a jarring experience Like being in a time machine. As I did not see you gradually change, it was as if I’d have preferred to remember you as the young, vibrant, attractive teen that you were. Of course I did not say any of that, just a friendly good to see you again. 😒

I feel that a very profound lesson can be learned from this story.

Never make an important decisions(especially political) based on a "picture" in your head from twenty years ago. Because if you do you will be heading for a total desaster and a disappointment.

 

[Huntn]

It is possible that one could learn some things about oneself through online discussions, but only if you receive the right feedback from the right persons. When discussing any issue online, what one does the most is to talk about oneself, while at the same time raising a shield of protection (one does not like to be hurt by others). It is different at a classroom setting, or even opening up to the right person (psychologist and so on), in which case (the latter), one is led to talk about oneself by the other person, the one who is doing the analysis. But in reality self analyzation is most productive at a private setting. A great number of people get to know more about themselves when separating themselves from social settings.

The process of taking the time to formulate a position on a topic, helps you understand yourself and your position, because you are having to organize your feelings to express them, but that’s just my opinion.

 

[Huntn]

I feel that a very profound lesson can be learned from this story.

Never make an important decisions(especially political) based on a "picture" in your head from twenty years ago. Because if you do you will be heading for a total desaster and a disappointment.

Well this is a different situation, but I think it has a bearing on the preferences and prejudices that people hold in their heads when presented with a “new” situation and how they might kneejerk react.

 

[splifingate]

There are worse things to be all het up and high horsed about.

*shrug*

I'll admit though to probably spending FAR more time on MacRumours than any social media app.

 

[splifingate]

I had several friends that I stayed in touch with for about 10 years after high school. I had zero desire to attend my high school reunion and I did not. Keep in mind that due to the circumstances of my life I left home and never returned there to live on any permanent basis.

Two decades later, while visiting my family there (Maryland), I ran into a girl I had casually known in high school thinking she was the most attractive girl I had ever laid eyes on, and I was shocked to the core when I ran into her and did not even recognizer her, until she recognized me. It was a jarring experience Like being in a time machine. As I did not see you gradually change, it was as if I’d have preferred to remember you as the young, vibrant, attractive teen that you were. Of course I did not say any of that, just a friendly good to see you again. 😒

I came of Secondary Age in the rural Midwest, US of A.

To the best of my ability, I could not help but desire to escape where I was, and what I was doing.

Eight years later, I stepped-out of the Metro in D.C., and came face-to-face with a fellow HS Classmate.

It was awkward, strange, and "Of course I did not say any of that" *smile*

27 years later, I find that a fellow Classmate lives (with his wife) about five blocks from where I have chosen to build my Home (roughly 1250km from where we shared Secondary) . . . we never talk, and rarely see eachother

 

[Isamilis]

I stopped with social media a few months back. Yes, when I did, things seemed quieter. Now, I tend to text my friends more often, and that seems to help somewhat.

I will add, overall, I feel better, mentally, having stopped using social media...

Similar experience. Now I usually just text (WA, Telegram), call and meet face to face with friends and colleagues. It's truly motivating and calming to listen to their viewpoints and stories while also sharing my own.

To OP: try meet people face to face more frequently. You will eventually “forget” your loneliness in social media as you have stronger relationships with “real” people, get to know their family, their friends’ friends and so on.

 

[halledise]

We old folks don't care what strangers think of us. That's the way it is and we like it.😉

Young people seek validation from others; be part of the popular it crowd.

I'm instilling in my teenage daughter that she should be herself, not succumb to peer pressure. Golden Age Superman wore his underwear on the outside. The Goddess of Love, Aphrodite/Venus, has belly rolls. What others think of her is a reflection of them, not her.

Polonius [Hamlet Act I, scene 3] gave the best advice, so what better words than his own?

This above all: to thine own self be true
And it must follow, as the night the day
Thou canst not then be false to any man
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!

an update to the bard is - to quote the movie 'Babe' - baa ram ewe, sheep be true 🐏🐑🤓
(to thineself, that is … …)

 

[avz]

Well this is a different situation, but I think it has a bearing on the preferences and prejudices that people hold in their heads when presented with a “new” situation and how they might kneejerk react.

Just like the wisdom imparted in a brothers Grimm fairy tales is not necessary self-evident or seemingly applicable in a current situations.

 

[avz]

an update to the bard is - to quote the movie 'Babe' - baa ram ewe, sheep be true 🐏🐑🤓
(to thineself, that is … …)

A cheap manipulation that does not negate the importance of "knowing yourself" and "being true to yourself(everybody was born to be a winner with a different roads to "get there")".

 

[Huntn]

I stopped with social media a few months back. Yes, when I did, things seemed quieter. Now, I tend to text my friends more often, and that seems to help somewhat.

I will add, overall, I feel better, mentally, having stopped using social media...

I go to the gym 3 times a week and interact with a variety of people in a friendly manner, but I have zero desire to suggest going out for dinner or inviting them back to my house, (which would be for friendship not romance). I’m happily but not calmly married, we love each other, but this relationship, 40 years+, uses up most of my social reserves.

I‘ve become as I can only describe as anti-social, which I look at my father and can say it’s inherited. If you don’t have any friends by choice, forums like this and social media provide an outlet to interact, express what’s on your mind to other people besides immediate family, on my terms and the amount of engagement I want to have.

 

[Huntn]

I've attended 3 colleges, did 37 years in the Air Force, and played in bands everywhere I'd been stationed, so I have friends all over the world, and FB was a cool way to stay in touch with many people. But, what FB's become got me so angry I opted out about 2 weeks ago, completely. I'm now retired, have no family of my own, most of my "blood" family in the MW have fallen into the Q-Anon hole, and yeah, it IS getting lonely. I still maintain contact with many via special-interest forums (music, cooking, audiophile, woodworking, this place) so that'll have to do, I guess. I am an extreme introvert, so that helps.

So social media provides a social outlet, as much of an outlet as you want. I recently jumped into Mastodon, and realize that the amount of interaction there is wonderful, but beyond what I can handle, hundreds upon hundreds of posts, and I don’t want to sit on the app all day to keep up with it, so that too, I interact as I can, but I’m missing a lot.

Forum structure is much better for keeping track of the discussions you want to follow. What is typically described as social media, Twitter, Facebook, Mastodon, is designed more for hit and run interactions, not long, drawn out, in-depth conversations.

 

[AZhappyjack]

So social media provides a social outlet, as much of an outlet as you want. I recently jumped into Mastodon, and realize that the amount of interaction there is wonderful, but beyond what I can handle, hundreds upon hundreds of posts, and I don’t want to sit on the app all day to keep up with it, so that too, I interact as I can, but I’m missing a lot.

Forum structure is much better for keeping track of the discussions you want to follow. What is typically described as social media, Twitter, Facebook, Mastodon, is designed more for hit and run interactions, not long, drawn out, in-depth conversations.

This is exactly why I consider "social media" (Meta, Twitter, et al) nothing more than noise. On a forum, you can pretty much keep up with what you want to keep up with, and ignore the rest.

 

[I7guy]

Very valid point. I do spend a lot of time on MacRumors, and it is a sort of social media. Every so often, I stray for the forums for quite a while. But, every so often, I am drawn back, almost like am missing something... 😳

Anything with a community that can post and respond is social media. Even if it’s general or specific. The definition is so wide and varied.

So to be clear, I have a FB account that is barely used. I usually log in on my birthday. I don’t use twitter/x. LinkedIn is social media for professional purposes and I do use that site.

 

[jedimasterkyle]

At one point, I was on FB, IG, Twitter every waking minute of every day. I was obsessed with always staying up to date on everything going on. Call it an addiction if you will of needing to know everything about everything.

One day, I realized it was ALLLLL ********...

I slowly implemented limits for myself on the respective apps. First I gave myself an hour on each. Then a half hour. Then 10 minutes.

I finally landed at 5 minutes for FB and IG and I've deleted my Twitter/X account because I have no desire to be part of that Titanic sized dumpster fire any longer.

As for my mental health, limiting myself has done wonders for me. When I was on all of those sites every minute, it felt like my brain just couldn't keep up with the amount of information I was ingesting and tbh, I dont think ANYONE's mind is capable of doing that. And it wasn't just the amount of information. It was the type of information too. Eventually, it got the point of I was seeing so much "world ending" news and information that I think I threw my phone across the room and audibly yelled "ENOUGH!".

The only reason I still have FB and IG is because of my close friends and family, and even then, I dont really comment on stuff any longer. I'll "like" certain posts if they pique my interest or if a family member posts something but 99% of what I see on either platform is no longer interesting to me. I've had family members ask me why I'm not on FB anymore and I tell them "for mental health reasons" and they look at me like I've gone insane. Granted, these questions usually come from older family members who...for lack of a better term...havent realized they are just as addicted to it as I once was.

I think like with any other drug, people will start to build up a tolerance to it and realize that it's not the endorphin rush it once was. Kicking it cold turkey is rough but my hope is that once people realize that their lives were just fine without social media before it became a thing, their lives will be fine without it as well. Social media is just a tool. Something to use to stay up to date with friends, family and interests and hobbies. But I sincerely hope that those people who have made it their entire lives will eventually find the end of the rabbit hole and realize that there is a way out of it.

 

[adrianlondon]

I hate Linkedin. I wish it stopped existing so I didn't have to have an account there whenever I look for jobs.

However, for me, that's not social media as I refuse to post anything or comment on anything. I have my profile and respond to email requests from companies and agencies only. Still don't like it

 

[jedimasterkyle]

I hate Linkedin. I wish it stopped existing so I didn't have to have an account there whenever I look for jobs.

However, for me that's not social media as I refuse to post anything or comment on anything. I have my profile and respond to email requests from companies and agencies only. Still don't like it

Same. I begrudgingly have an account on there only because it's "professional" but I dont comment or post anything. I sometimes I forget I even have an account there lol

 

[Shortpay]

Getting off social media is a great incentive to reconnect with people that matter in-person.

March 2020-March 2023 shelter in place, remote learning and WFH demonstarted the biological and psychological need to be in person with loved ones.

Social media just pushes content that imposes the longest engagement.

 

[MacDaddyPanda]

I just use social media to follow my current hobbies and interests. Couple forums I participate in regularly. ANd Discord I talk to some people frequently. But no one I would call a close online friend. IRL I had lunch buddies at work. But I've moved to a new work site. I don't have my lunch buddies anymore . Otherwise that's all I use social media for.